Thursday, September 23, 2010

A blog makeover and new information

I finally figured out how to makeover my blog, just the way I want it. Thanks to my wonderful fiancé and his sweet powerpoint skills, I updated it and changed it around a bit. I'm pretty content with it. But now that I know how to go about designing it, I'll probably change like a million more times. Haha.

About a week or so ago, J got new information on Japan. Unfortunately, his orders are already cut, so there is no changing them. Even if we were to get married before he left the States. His orders say unaccompanied, and so that's the way they're staying. It really sucks. But hopefully he'll be able to come for Christmas and/or graduation. And I'm already planning my trip out there next summer. I've talked to several different girls whose significant other is in another country, or going to another country shortly. From what I hear, we'll be able to Skype and he can get a Japanese cell phone and what not. But still. It doesn't make it better. I know I shouldn't be complaining all that much, he's not going back to Afghanistan. And he will be safe. I honestly have no right to complain all that much. I'm so grateful that it's not Afghanistan. But I honestly can't even begin to imagine how lonely I'll be without him here. I've been trying so hard not to complain about. Because again, he will be safe and he is still living and breathing. But it's just so hard, ya know? Half the days I want to scream and yell and cry and just fall asleep, wake up and it all be a dream. And the other half of the days I think to myself that it really will be okay. And the year will fly by. But what if I'm wrong and what if this next year seems like an eternity? ughh. He has to report to Japan by the end of October. We have about a month left together. That's about 30 days to do some many thing together. There is just tons of stuff we thought we'd have all the time in the world for. But now, now we don't. I have to figure out a way to plan and organize out entire wedding by myself. I know we'll be able to talk about through email and Skype and what not, but it just wont be the same. I have to find us somewhere to live when he comes home. I have to register for all the wedding stuff. I have to make our payments. I have to do it all, all alone. It sucks. But again, I feel absolutely horrible for complaining. I know some of you wonderful ladies are dealing with deployments and everything else. I really just should not be complaining. 

I just really hope the next year goes by faster than the speed of light... 
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1 comment:

  1. Aw... thinking of you! I know how tough it is... but you will get through it!