It's not goodbye; it's see you later

J left on Friday. I feel so alone. I feel like the biggest part of my life is missing. I thought it would be easier this time around. It's not Afghanistan. It's not a war zone. It's just another country. But I was wrong. It is so hard. I miss him so much. I haven't talked to him yet. I just want to hear his voice. I want to know how he's doing, what he's seeing, if he likes the base, if the people are nice. I really was hoping this would go easier. But I can't stop crying. I feel so alone. It hurt so bad when I had to walk out of the airport without holding his hand or not being able to wake up to him the next morning or fall asleep in his arms. I really hope this will get easier..

We are..

...married!! We got married two weeks ago in the local courthouse. We weren't planning on getting married until November of next year, but since he's PCSing to Japan, we figured this was the very best thing for us. And we couldn't be happier! The day we got married, Thursday October 14, was not what I had imagined it would be. It was rainy and freezing! My hair was a mess, I tripped a million times because of my heels, the food at the restaurant wasn't all that great. But despite it all, it was absolutely perfect. I honestly wouldn't change a thing. I am so blessed and lucky to have this man as my husband. I truly am the luckiest person in this whole world. I have no idea what I would do without J in my life. He completes me in every way possible and with him I can just be myself. He's my best friend, my hero, my soul mate, and my husband. I am a truly blessed lady! Okay, enough with the words..here's some pictures!!

I do <3

With this ring...

I thee wed <3

I now pronounce you Husband and Wife <3

It was the very best day of my entire life. We're still having a real wedding next November. But for now, we did this for us. I am soo happy!

But then again..I'm sad :( Tomorrow, at 9:00 AM,  J leaves for Japan. Ughhh. This whole thing really stinks. I'm going to miss him so much. I am so thankful he's not going back to Afghanistan. But still, having to say "See you soon" to him at the airport is going to be so hard. We just got married, we should be spending all of our time together. Ugh this is horrible. Please, someone tell me this is going to get easier :(

TOMORROW!!

The day is finally here! Tomorrow J and I are getting married. We're having a very small ceremony with my family and a few close friends. Oh my gosh, I can't believe that tomorrow I am marrying my best friend, my soul mate, the person I am spending the rest of my life with. Having a small ceremony like this was not what we were expecting at all...but I know tomorrow will be absolutely perfect. Who cares if it's supposed to pour tomorrow or there are people that don't support us. We're meant to be together. Forever. There is nothing in this world tha would change my feelings for him. He is an incredible man. And I am the luckiest girl in this entire world! We're getting married! Ahhhh!!! :) 

It's been awhile

It's been awhile since I've written. Life has just been crazy. School is keeping me insanely busy. And J and I are trying to spend as much time together as we possible can. He leaves the end of this month. Still no word on the exact date; but it should be around the 29th. I honestly can't believe he's leaving again...and for a year this time. His deployment to Afghanistan was supposed to be his last. He was supposed to be stable here. He wasn't supposed to be PCSable. But of course, as it alway happens with the military, everything changed. Ugh. I knew, when I met him, he could leave whenever they wanted him to. I knew anything were possible with the military. But it doesn't change the fact that this whole situation still sucks. It freakin' blows. A year seems like an eternity. But I know God will bring us through it. J has been told by numerous people that he should be able to come back here to take classes..some classes are a week, others are close to a month. I reallllly hope he can do this. I really hope they let him take as many classes as he wants, so he can just keep coming back here hahaha. I'm planning a trip to go visit him next May, after graduation. I just have noo idea how I'm going to pay for a hotel. My mom said she'd pay for the airplane..which is expensive enough! Now, I have to figure out a way to raise money to stay in a hotel out there. Hopefully I'll be able to find something not too expensive. 


Aside from J leaving, I have some really great news! J and I decided that we didn't want to not be married before he leaves for Japan. So..next Thursday we are going to have a very small, intimate ceremony. We decided this is what is best for us. Getting married before he leaves is the best decision. In the end, I still won't be going with him, which sucks. But we'll be married. And that's what we truly want. We're still having a huge wedding and celebration next November, like I've been planning. Nothing has really changed. We just know that this small ceremony right now is the very best thing for us. There is always a chance that he'll be going back out to Afghanistan..and we didn't want to risk it. So, we're doing it! I am soooo excited!!! Though, there are some people that are too supportive. It really hurts to think that these people are really trying to understand where we're coming from. I just wish everyone would support us in this decision. But you know what, who cares. Nothing or no one is going to take away this feeling! This is the best feeling in the entire world! This time next, I will be his wife! eeeep!! :) 


I hope you all are having a great week! I've been on and reading all of your blogs, just haven't had the time to blog..until now haha. I hope everyone has a great weekend!